10 years, what have I learned? Choose wisely.

I have been married 10 years this month to my soulmate. In other words, an extremely patient woman capable of putting up with my insanity, hobbies, moodiness, and endless political talk. The icing on the cake is she just happens to be a beautiful person inside and out, as well as a spectacular mother.

Here is my favorite photo from our own wedding (it hangs in our bedroom)…


So, what have I learned? Well, this is mostly a photography blog so I will stick to the topic at hand. I have learned too much to type in my 10 years of marriage. This photo is a product of “my” photographic mind actually. Not the person we hired. There are only a couple of great shots from my wedding and this is one of them. You see, a lot of people charge money and take your picture. But, there are also a lot of off-Broadway shows and B films. You need to find out who your photographer is. Your photographer needs to find out who you are. As a client, you are asking this person to make a documentary of your life in 8-10 hours. To capture the essence of you. I saw this sign on my wedding day and immediately asked everyone to pose. I grabbed the photographer and said to come over. “One Way.” So very fitting on this wedding day. In all these years, I have never looked anywhere else. This photo is a little whacky and true. A little sarcastic maybe. Very much me. But, my photographer never tried to learn that about me. I paid, she showed up, the end.

…The person that shot my wedding does not do weddings anymore

As a photographer, I try to be a little different. I generally try to get to know any client that has honored me with the task of capturing their day. It is the least I can do. I have learned that some of my favorite images have come from just being there with the client. Getting to know them. Professional intimacy. There is a reason potentially good films become great films, and it is usually due to the combined efforts of the director and a carefully chosen cast of characters. Anybody can shoot your wedding, but can anybody capture “you?” That is what you need to decide when you ultimately hire your photographer.

10 years ago I chose my wife wisely, but not my photographer. Both choices have made me better today. That’s what I’ve learned.

2 thoughts on “10 years, what have I learned? Choose wisely.

  1. Congratulations on choosing wisely Chris. And every day in a marriage is a learning experience… I have 18 years in this very happy union with my best friend. I have never regretted it and I have learned so much about being happy from this amazing man… I wish you and your bride of ten years more happy years together… I ask God to continue to bless you in all things… and that is a great photo …

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